| Except you need the sun for that, you idiot!!!
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[Scene opens up with a view of the sun]
Fanboy/Chum Chum: Field trip!
[Camera pans down to show a school bus bouncing up and down with kids inside it]
Everyone: We're going on a field trip! [Repeats until Bus Lady Cram arrives]
[Cut to inside the bus, Kyle is looking bad with a green face and all]
Kyle: Would you kindly stop bouncing? I'm not accustomed to single-decker buses! And my stomach is quite... [retches] Sensitive!
[Shift to Fanboy]
Fanboy: Oh, boy, a field trip! This is so exciting! I bet there's fields as far as the eye can see!
[Shift to Chum Chum]
Chum Chum: Ooh! I hope there's ragweed and gopher holes!
[The bus door slams open off camera, everyone stops bouncing. Cut to a close-up of Bus Lady Cram's feet]
Bus Lady Cram: If this bus keeps a-rockin', I'm comin' a-knockin'!
Everyone: [gasp] Lunch Lady Cram!
Bus Lady Cram: Lunch Lady Cram's my sister. [puts on bus hat] I'm Bus Lady Cram.
Fanboy: Oh yeah, you both have the same pretty snarl.
[Bus Lady Cram growls]
Hank: Uh, Bus Lady Cram? Uh, shouldn't we be going to the field? Wouldn't wanna miss the mosquitoes.
Bus Lady Cram: WE'RE NOT GOING TO ANY FIELD! [Hank shrinks] My sister says the cafeteria's out of food, so we're going to...THE G-LOP MINES!!!
Everyone: GLOP MINES??!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Duke: I'm outta here, maaaan!
[Just as Duke was about to jump out the window, Bus Lady Cram focuses her eyes on him, causing the window to close. She does the same to the other windows, they close themselves, and everyone gasps in horror]
Kyle: Oh, dear. We're trapped on the bus and we're heading for the Glop Mines! Suddenly I don't feel so... [pukes]
Bus Lady Cram: This is supposed to be a field trip, isn't it? WELL, START SINGING!!!
[Everyone gasps and stares at each other for a moment]
Everyone: ♪ Ninety-nine buckets of glop on the wall, ninety-nine buckets of glop, if one of those buckets should happen to fall... ♪
[Rest of song has sound effects under. Cut to the bus's destination sign, it changes from saying "FIELD" to "GLOP MINES". Bus Lady Cram laughs evilly with fire behind her, then the bus takes off so fast, it sends everyone flying to the back of the bus]
[Scene shifts to a desert, the bus is flaming down the road]
Bus Lady Cram: Grrrrrr!
Chum Chum: The G-lop Mines?! You mean -- we're gonna see where cafeteria food comes from? I don't wanna see. [shakes Fanboy] I DON'T WANNA SEE!!!
Fanboy: Shh. It's okay, Chum Chum. I'll poke your eyes out.
Chum Chum: Promise?
Bus Lady Cram: [Offscreen] Quiet back there!
Yo: You know what I heard? That when a bus goes to the Glop Mines, it never comes back to school.
Hank: Ever? But I left my chalk back there!
[Scene shifts to the classroom, zoom in on the leftover chalk as horrible music plays]
Hank: [whimpers fearfully]
Lupe: No, you don't understand. They say there's a monster in the mines, and it eats the childrens, down to they BONES.
Hank: Oh, wait, it just eats children? Oh ho ho ho, thank gosh. [lies back]
Kyle: Oh, I'm sure this is all a bunch of poppycock, invented to scare us children.
Retchy: [offscreen] No! It's true!
Chum Chum: Who said that?
[Camera shifts to a seat, Retchy's eyes can be visable under it]
Retchy: I did. [comes out] For I alone survived to tell thee.
Chum Chum: A dirty kid!
Fanboy: Oh, he looks hungry. Quick! Give him some food from your lunches!
Retchy: Oh, bless you, sir! Bless you! I've been living off porridge I make from seat stuffing and pencil stubs!
Yo: Here, my ham sandwich.
Retchy: Hmm, Don't like ham. Get Bologna?
Yo: I'm saving it.
Retchy: Trade you you my crisp.
Yo: No Way.
Retchy: Toss in a pudding?
Yo: Deal! No back