Return to "Night Morning".

[Scene opens up one night. Lights in houses turn off one by one. We see Fanboy and Chum Chum getting themselves ready for bed. Chum Chum hops into bed and Fanboy tucks him in]
Fanboy: There you go, buddy! Sleep tight!
[Fanboy goes over to his bed and Chum Chum tucks him in]
Chum Chum: And there you go. [singsong] Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs bite!
Fanboy: [singsong] But they might.
[They giggle, then Fanboy snores]

Fanboy: [snoring] Okay, Chum Chum...I'll re-tuck you...
[Fanboy looks over and sees Chum Chum's empty bed. A door is heard opening]
Fanboy: [gasp] Chum Chum?
[Chum Chum tiptoes through the door and slams it shut. He hiccups, then tiptoes up the stairs to Fanboy]
Fanboy: Chum Chum?
Chum Chum: Fanboy, what are you doing up? That monster under your bed kicking you again?
Fanboy: No, we worked it out.
Monster: It's all good, bro.
Fanboy: What are you doing up?
Chum Chum: I was enjoying my Night Morning.
Fanboy: Night Morning? What's that?
Chum Chum: Night Morning -- is the time between night and morning -- when you can do all the cool stuff -- you can't do between morning -- and night!
Fanboy: Whoa-whoa-whoa! What kind of cool stuff?
Chum Chum: Cool Night Morning stuff, silly.
Fanboy: Okay, would you take a few follow-up questions?
Chum Chum: Sure!

[Fanboy begins to rapidly ask questions]
Fanboy: [talking fast] Can you eat sweet potatoes? Can you play Chimp Chomp? Can you read comic books? Can you break dance? Can you talk to fish? Can you eat cheese through your ear? Can you chew gum whist walking Are there rocket cars? Are they red? Are there blueberries? Are they red? [unintelligible] Muh muh muh muh mah? Muh muh muh muh mah? [spits, still unintelligible] Muh muh muh  muh mah? Muh muh muh muh mah? [normal] Can you wear clown shoes? Can you drink pudding through a straw? Can you ride a dog like a horse? Are the banks open? [screaming over noise] CAN YOU DANCE WITH MUMMIES?!? [whispering] Can you get a good bagel? [normal] Does it rain hot gravy? [SLAM] Will a Sasquatch give you back rubs? [SLAM] Does it rain hot gravy? Are there unlimited chicken drummettes? Do monkeys shine your shoes? [lowly] Is Duke there?
Chum Chum: Well...
Fanboy: Can you eat electricity? Can you pet a live tiger? [slightly less crazed] Can you hand me some toilet paper? [normal] Can you wear white after Labor Day? Do the shrimp peel and eat themselves? Of course they do! What am I thinking? It’s Night Morning! Anything can happen!
[He spits in the sink]
Chum Chum: I don't know if you're interested, but if you want, you can do Night Morning with me.
Fanboy: [surprised spit] ME?!? DO NIGHT MORNING?!?!? I'm going to Night Morning! I don't think I can sleep! I need a lullaby.
(Song: Night Morning)
Fanboy: Night Morning, Night Morning, Niiiiight Morrrning...
Night Morning...Night Morning...Niiiight...Morrr...

[As Fanboy floats into bed, Chum Chum turns off the light and sleeps for a few moments when...]
Chum Chum's alarm: Night morning! Night morning! Night morning! Night morning!
Chum Chum: [yawns, turns on light, singsong] Fanboy, it's time!
Fanboy: [snoring] Huh?
Chum Chum: It's Night Morning!
Fanboy: [gasp] Night Morning? I can't believe it's finally heeeeeeeee.....!
[the doorbell rings]
Chum Chum: Who could that be?
[Everyone from school come up the Fanlair elevators]
Fanboy: Come on in, guys!
Chum Chum: Uhh, what's happening?
Fanboy: I invited everybody to spend Night Morning with us.
Chum Chum: Uh...I don't know, Fanboy. Night Morning may not be everyone's cup of tea.
Fanboy: Chum Chum, old Chum, you've discovered something wonderful, something sacred.
[register sound]
Chum Chum: You're charging people?
Fanboy: [taking admission] He-hey, if you want to see something sacred, you've gotta pony up the clams. There will be clam ponies here, right? [At everyone] WE GOT CLAM PONIES! IS EVERYONE EXCITED?!?
Everyone: Yaaaaay!/Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop...
Hank: Night Morning ROCKS!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!
Fanboy: I can't hear you!
[Cut to Kyle, holding his Admiral Fluffington bear and wearing a ridiculous train set headgear on his head]
Kyle: [lispy] Sorry, it's my headgear. I'm normally asleep at these hours.
Fanboy: Okay, everybody! Hike up your pants, 'cause it's gonna be a flood of awesomeness!
Lupe: I've never been so excited.
Fanboy: Chum Chum, let's get this party STARTED!
Everyone: Yaaaaay!/Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop...
[Precious howls]

[In the kitchen...]
Everyone: [chattering]
Fanboy: Okay, everybody, settle! Well, the tension is palpable. Mmm! I think we all feel it. I know I do. So, I think what everybody wants to know is: How -- do -- you get this night morning started? [holds the microphone up to Chum Chum]
Chum Chum: -- I -- I guess I -- I usually start with uh...a bowl of cereal.
Fanboy: Did you hear that, folks? He said CEREAL-AH!
Everyone: Yay!/Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Fanboy: Okay! He's reaching for the cereal box!
Everyone: Yaaaaaay!
Fanboy: We do not know what he's going to choose. But it's sure to be the most dangerously giant bowl of the sweetiest, stickiest, most teeth-rottingest cereal ever! He's grabbing the box...oh, it's the Ice Monster Crunch Crunch, folks, this is what you came to see!
[Everyone takes out their cell phones and cameras as they see Chum Chum come down with the cereal]
Michael: Ohhhhh, he's gonna make that cereal his breakfast! [takes photo]

[Chum Chum pours the cereal]
Fanboy: Last chance, protective splash gear! Only one dollar, one dollar! You with the face, anyone? No one. What's he gonna do with the cereal?! The possibilities are endless! [faints and giggles]
[Chum Chum eats his cereal. Time passes, everyone gets bored]
Lupe: He's just eating it.
Hank Mufflin: Yeah, even I can do that.
Fanboy: Yeaaaah, that's because he's getting to the big finish?
[Everyone gasps. After a beat, Chum Chum spills the cereal box. Everyone sighs and Lupe falls over]
Francine: Okay, you said this was going to be really exciting, and instead, hello, it's really boring?
Fanboy: But that's the beauty of Night Morning. It's unpredictable!
Francine: [takes dollar] I'm so out of here! [leaves]
Fanboy: Whoa! Did not see that one coming!

[In the living room...]
Chum Chum: Next I usually watch my favorite show. [sits down]
Fanboy: [repeatedly turns lights on and off] You know, I think we all knew we were in for something special this Night Morning, But this -- is even specialer.
[Everyone looks at the TV. Nothing happens. We hear coughing]
Fanboy: [whispering] You want me to turn that on for you, buddy?
Chum Chum: Shhh. It is on! In my imagination! Jump, pippy, jump! [giggles]
Lupe: That boy is crazy, like my uncle. He marry a chicken. Oh, they fight.
Fanboy: Come on, guys, don't you just-a love Night Morning? Just when think you're gonna get this, you get this!
Kyle: Then I'll be taking this! [swipes two of Fanboy's dollars]
Fanboy: Huh? Two dollars? You only paid a dollar.
Kyle: Pain and suffering!
Lupe: I'd rather watch my aunt lay eggs. [swipes dollar]
[Lupe and Kyle go down the elevators]
Fanboy: Hey, it's their loss, you know, 'cause it is just about to get wild!
[Yo applauds]
Fanboy: Isn't that right, Chum Chum?
Chum Chum: Well, I do have a shirt to iron.
Hank/Yo/Nancy: Aww!
[Cher faints]
[Precious plays a flute]

[Montage of Chum Chum doing many boring activities followed by someone leaving]
Chum Chum: [humming and folding]
Fanboy: Man, can he fluff and fold or what?!
[Nancy takes her dollar]
Fanboy: [while Chum Chum sharpens pencils] Shar-per! Shar-per! Shar-per! C'mon, everyone now! Shar-per! Shar-per!
[Duke takes his dollar]
Fanboy: [while Chum Chum cleans his ears] He's cleaning the right...NOW THE LEFT!
[Hank takes his dollar and rolls out]
Fanboy: [while Chum Chum does some knitting] Knit one, purl one. Knit one, purl one. Knit one, purl one. Knit one, purl one. Can this kid make an afghan or what?!
[Michael takes his dollar and moonwalks down the elevator]

Fanboy: Hey, where you going? Aw, forget it. More fun for us, 'cause the best is yet to come! Right, Chris Chuggy? The Chugmeister!
Chris Chuggy: Wah. Wah, whoooooa.
Fanboy: Okay, Chum Chum, what's next?
Chum Chum: Well, I could shake the crumbs out of the toaster. Oh, what am I saying? This is the part of night morning when Man-Arctica, the sub-zero superhero, flies in.
Chum Chum: Yeah, but only to give me superpowers. Then I usually help him protect the universe, time permitting.
Yo: Whoo! Man-Arctica!
Fanboy: Gah! I'm gonna meet Man-Arctica! Oh, man, oh, man, do I love night--! Hmm? [sees Chum Chum put a snack on the floor] What are you doing?
Chum Chum: Putting out cookies and milk.
Chris Chuggy: Wah?
Chum Chum: Well, I'll tell you wah.
[Scene shows Chum Chum's fantasy]
Chum Chum: [voiceover] He gets very, very hungry from flying around the world delivering toys to all the good little boys and girls.
[End of fantasy]
Yo: Isn't that Santa Claus?
Chum Chum: Who?
[Pause, Yo and Chuggy take their dollars from Fanboy and go down the elevator]
Fanboy: Hey, where you guys going? Man-Arctica's gonna be here any minute!
Chris Chuggy: [angrily] Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah!

Chum Chum: Yeah, I have a feeling this might be the night...he finally comes.
Fanboy: You mean...he's never come before?
Chum Chum: Nope! This'll be his first time ever!
Fanboy: Wow, that just means that I'm here for Man-Arctica's debut appearr-ance! I mean, it just keeps getting more exciting!
Chum Chum: So you want to wait up for Man-Arctica with me?
Fanboy: Do I? I wouldn't miss it! Now let me just get my own comfy chair so I don't miss a single -- [falls asleep and snores]

Chum Chum: [pause] Wait a's not cookies and's milk and cookies! [switches the snack around] There. Somehow that just feels more right. [Man-Arctica arrives] Man-Arctica! Ha ha ha ha! You came!
Man-Arctica: If there's one thing I love more than a sno-cone on the frozen tundra, it's milk and cookies. But not cookies and milk, I got so sick on that one time. [has the snack]
Chum Chum: Fanboy! Ha! Fa-anboy! Man-Arctica's here for Night Morning!
Fanboy: Wha...too tired. Worn out from fun, Night Morning too intense, go without me. [falls back to sleep]
Chum Chum: You sure?
Fanboy: [snoring]
[Chum Chum smiles at Fanboy sleeping while Man-Arctica walks over to Chum Chum and Man-Arctica finishes his snack]
Man-Arctica: [sips] Ahhh. So, junior superhero! Shall we solve problems involving heat together?
Chum Chum: You bet! [sits on Man-Arctica's shoulders] Hey, can we take Fanboy?
Man-Arctica: Is he cool? [Chum Chum nods] All right. [they fist bump their hands] Let's break arctic wind!
[Man-Arctica takes off with Chum Chum and Fanboy in tow]
Chum Chum: Wheee!

Man-Arctica: Hey, if you don't mind, I got to deliver a lot of presents to good boys and girls!
Chum Chum: Sure, no problem! Hey, have you heard of this Santa Claus guy?
Man-Arctica: Who?
Chum Chum: That's what I said! Boy, Fanboy's really gonna love this when he wakes up.
[They drop presents everywhere. One falls through Hank's window]

"Excuse Me"
Transcripts Next:
"Marsha, Marsha, Marsha"
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.